Many Christians and so-called Biblical scholars study or look at certain issues or doctrines in the Bible as if they are looking at Scripture through the wrong end of a telescope and when they publish and enforce their myopic conclusions it can cause many other Christians much pain and hardship. It is as if they have not considered the whole counsel of God in their deliberations and are out of fellowship with Him and do not know Him. Many Christians revere these scholars or their churches and accept and follow their conclusions even though it may cause great pain and suffering to their families. Such is the case regarding the positions of some Christians and churches on divorce and remarriage.

Just as when Jesus walked on the earth and the Pharisees made the Sabbath a heavy burden by their man-made regulations, the nominal Roman Catholic teaching on divorce has made marriage a heavy burden for many and it has filtered down through a number of other churches. Several years ago, the one time director of ministries for the Worldwide Church of God, Alfred Carrozzo, told Time magazine what were the results of the total ban on divorce and remarriage that Herbert W Armstong, the founder of that church, once enforced:  “I have watched many a man and his wife and children weep when I told them they must separate in order to enter the faith.”*  Joseph Hopkins in 'Christianity Today' wrote about the poisonous fruit of that Divorce & Remarriage rule: “Throughout the history of the Worldwide Church of God, no policy has occasioned more grief and bitterness than requiring members to dissolve post-divorce marriage unions, branded by the church as adulterous regardless of the circumstances. Over the years hundreds of marriages were terminated and families broken up because of the ruling.”**  It is thought highly probable by many former Worldwide Church of God members that the ban on divorce and remarriage caused more family breakups than it prevented.

Why do some Christians and churches take such a stringent stand on divorce and remarriage? The answer is that they believe they are strictly following the teachings of Scripture. But are they? I believe that they are following their own interpretation and not following the whole counsel or Spirit of God, nor have they considered the context of the Scriptures from whence they exact their harsh doctrine. Briefly, I want to examine those specific Scriptures and the subsequent rule against divorce and remarriage and point out how they have arrived at their spiritually erroneous and, what are, for so many, grief-filled conclusions.

Jesus says: “But I say to you that every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:32). Here in the discourse that has been termed 'The Sermon on the Mount', Jesus addresses what had become a-divorce-for-any-reason policy among the Jews. Although Jesus says that it is permissible to divorce one's spouse because of unfaithfulness, some isolate the last part of the verse (“whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery”) from the rest and say that this last part means that, if one's spouse does commit adultery and the innocent party does divorce the guilty one, then even the innocent party never has the right to remarry in the future as long as the guilty party is alive. The only way they can come to this illogical and irrational conclusion is IF they DO isolate the last part of the verse from the rest of what Jesus said. No one can ever come to a proper and right conclusion by separating part of a verse of Scripture from the rest of the verse. If one reads the last part of Matthew 5:32 in the context of the whole verse, as one should always do with any Scripture, one can only draw one conclusion, and that is that when Jesus said, “whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery”, He had to be referring to anyone marrying anyone who was divorced for any other cause other than fornication because Jesus establishes in Matthew 5:32 the boundaries for marriage and divorce and not just the boundaries for remarriage as some try to make it seem by taking the last part by itself and out of the context of the verse.

The same can be said for Matthew 19:9 where Jesus reiterates the exception clause for divorce and remarriage: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery.” It makes no sense at all to say that God allows you to divorce your spouse for unchastity, but then, despite being divorced, you are still bound in God's sight to that person for the rest of your life no matter how many times he or she fornicates with another and even if your ex-spouse remarries. One would have to be totally unreasonable, gracelessly moronic, a control freak, or totally selfish (whichever one or all applies) to believe this interpretation of Jesus' words especially when the proponents of this harsh doctrine want to coerce or compel other Christians to conform to their merciless interpretation in order to become part of their church. They would keep a great many innocent people outside the Body of Christ for not accepting their own private interpretation of Scripture and then, ironically enough, they cover their harsh unreasonableness with words of love for another's soul.

In enforcing their doctrines of men, right after taking the last part of Matthew 5:32 out of context, the false doctrine police will tell you that you are held to the oath you made to God in your first marriage to be married to the other “til death do us part”, but immediately following Matthew 5:32 Jesus speaks precisely about how others will try to bind you through traditionally accepted oaths, “Again you have heard that it was said to the men of old, 'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.' But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil.” (Matthew 5:33-37). Why do these doctrine police try to be the enforcers of oaths that the Lord says we shouldn't have made in the first place?

And then, again, according to Matthew 19:9, where Jesus reiterates the permanence of marriage, but also states the exception where the marriage bed is defiled, the harsh doctrine enforcers will tell you that even though they have divorced their spouse for unfaithfulness, they themselves intend to be faithful to God in remaining single and celibate and they say that you should do the same or you will be committing adultery. Here again they fail to read the whole of Jesus' words immediately following Matthew 19:9:“The disciples said to Him, 'If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.' But He said to them,“Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19:10-12). Notice the compassion and understanding that Jesus has for all kinds of people with all kinds of temperaments that the enforcers of harsh doctrines don't have for anyone else. They have chosen to remain single and celibate and insist that everybody else be like them no matter what their circumstances or temperaments are, but Jesus' Spirit is completely different for His is one of liberty and of non-coercion, unlike those who know Him not and who would rather condemn others to lives of loneliness, alienation, and misery.

In Mark chapter 10, Jesus was responding to the Pharisees' questions who were trying to test Him. The context of the passage is not about the only permissible reason for divorce, that of unfaithfulness, but about why Moses permitted them to give their spouses notes of dismissal for almost any other reason. Jesus told them that it was “for your hardness of heart” that Moses' granted them permission to divorce. Scripture indeed reveals from the beginning that marriages are supposed to be lifelong, except when certain specific conditions apply which are explicitly revealed in Scripture. To adulterate this teaching by trying to exclude the exception clause for divorce and remarriage violates Deuteronomy 4:2: “You shall not add to the word which I am commanding you, nor take away from it.”

It should also be noted especially that both times in Matthew chapters 5 and 19, where Jesus states the exception clause, He was speaking before the large crowds, and in Mark chapter 10 and in Luke chapter 16, where Jesus does not mention the exception clause, He was speaking privately to His disciples to whom He knew the exception clause was well known. So why would there be any need for Him to reiterate that of which they were fully aware?

Wherever it is in Scripture that Christ or Paul says “whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery”, they are referring to a woman divorced on grounds other than “on account of fornication or unchastity”.  Such a woman, though divorced legally, would not be divorced Scripturally.

From looking at certain texts, such as Hebrews 6:4-6 and 10:26-29, we know that the grant of eternal life is conditional. Therefore we know we can’t read certain texts, such as Mark 16:16, “He who believes and is baptized will be saved”, and then proclaim, “Once saved, always saved.” By an act of free will, we can choose to be lost. Likewise, the harsh doctrine enforcers' error is “once married, always married.”  Indeed to them, remarriage becomes a kind of unpardonable sin in their teaching since it appears even baptism doesn't erase the stain of a guilty past even for someone new to the faith. God gives us the power to end a marriage to an unfaithful partner, but even much more than that, despite all the sin that may have resulted because of an unlawful divorce, God gives us power to forgive and bless those who acknowledge their guilt without having to inflict further pain and heavy burdens on the innocent. God not only gives us power to forgive them, but He tells us if we expect our sins to be forgiven we must forgive others. The real unpardonable sin may be a failure to exercise the lawful power of forgiveness that God gives us.

“Come now, and let us reason together” (Isaiah 1:18) says the Lord. God is great and God is good and He is totally reasonable and forgiving when it comes to His wayward children, which we all are: “For He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust.” (Psalms 103:14). God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, but He is also the the Potter of our lives, and He is aware of what is happening in our lives and He adjusts His dealings with us accordingly, and unlike an impersonable machine, when the clay of our lives becomes marred, we are still in His gracious hands and He adjusts His approach to us and, if we are willing, He is able to remake our lives into an unmarred  “earthen vessel” to hold His treasure, the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

No one can deny the evils and heartache that flow from divorce.  Besides the many children born out of wedlock, divorce is the main source of social and moral decay in western society. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).  But despite the fact that it's never an ideal condition, since it's born of human sin and folly, God does allow for it and even remarriage under certain conditions as revealed in Scripture. To deny otherwise would hold many of our spiritual brothers and sisters in bondage, but God has not only called us to loyalty, but to mercy and peace.

* Time Magazine, March 4, 1974, p. 50
** Christianity Today, April 15, 1977, p. 23
 

A Case Where a Second Marriage was Justified

 “In regard to the marriage of your daughter with J, I see where you are troubled. But the marriage took place with your consent, and your daughter, knowing all about him, accepted him as her husband, and now I can see no reason why you should carry any burden over this matter. Your daughter loves J, and it may be that this marriage is in the order of God in order that both J and your daughter may have a richer Christian experience, and be built up where they are deficient. Your daughter has pledged herself to J in marriage, and to break her marriage vows would be far from right. She cannot now disannul her obligations to him. . . . I had a personal knowledge of his former relations with his first wife K. J loved K far too well; for she was not worthy of his regard. He did all in his power to help her, and sought in every possible way to retain her as his wife. He could not have done more than he did do. I pleaded with her, and tried to show her the inconsistency of her course, and begged her not to obtain a divorce; but she was determined and willful and stubborn, and would have her own way. While she lived with him, she sought to secure all the money possible from him, but she would not treat him kindly as a wife should treat her husband.      J did not put his wife away. She left him, and put him away, and married another man. I see nothing in the Scripture that forbids him to marry again in the Lord. He has a right to the affection of a woman. . . . I cannot see that this new union should be disturbed. It is a serious matter to part a man and his wife. There is no scriptural ground upon which to take such a step in this case. He did not leave her, she left him. He did not marry again until she had obtained a divorce. When K divorced herself from J he suffered most keenly, and it was not until K had married another man that J married again. The one he has chosen I feel certain will be a help to him, and he can be a help to her. . . .I see nothing in the Word of God that would require her to separate from him. As you have asked my advice I will freely give it to you.” ~ Letter 50, 1895. {Selected Messages Vol. 2, pages 339-340}
 

Case Not Bettered by Leaving Present Wife

{Counsel given in response to the endeavor of a father to break up a long-standing marriage of his son to his second wife because many years before he had, without Bible grounds, divorced his first wife to make legally possible the second marriage. ~ Compilers.} {Selected Messages, Vol. 2, page 341}

“I have just read your letter concerning M. I regard the matter in the same light that you do, and think it a cruel, wicked thing that the father of M should take the course that he is taking. . . . I would say that his {M's} case cannot be improved by leaving the present wife. It would not better the case to go to the other woman in the question.

I consider the case of the father one that is singular, and his record is one that he will not be pleased to meet in the day of God. He needs to repent, before God, of his spirit and his works. The best thing for him to do is to cease to stir up strife.... Let the father and brother make diligent work for themselves. They both need the converting power of God. May the Lord help these poor souls to remove spot and stain from their own characters, and repent of their wrongs, and leave M with the Lord.

I am so sorry for the man; for his course is in such a shape that it will not answer to be meddled with, for there are difficulties upon difficulties. I would say that the Lord understands the situation, and if M will seek Him with all his heart, He will be found of him. If he will do his best, God will pardon and receive him.

Oh, how precious it is to know that we have One who does know and understand, and will help the ones who are most helpless. But the rebuke of God is upon the father and the brother who would drive to destruction and perdition one who stands in the sight of God under no worse condemnation than themselves; and yet they will so use their gifts of speech as to dishearten, discourage, and drive M to despair.

M may hope in God and do the best he can to serve God in all humility of mind, casting his helpless soul upon the great Sin Bearer. I have not written a word to either father or son. I would gladly do something to help poor M to make things right, but this cannot be done as matters are now situated, without someone's being wronged.” ~ Letter 175, 1901. {Selected Messages, Vol. 2, pages 341-342}
 

  “A woman may be legally divorced from her husband by the laws of the land and yet not divorced in the sight of God and according to the higher law. There is only one sin, which is adultery, which can place the husband or wife in a position where they can be free from the marriage vow in the sight of God. Although the laws of the land may grant a divorce, yet they are husband and wife still in the Bible light, according to the laws of God. I saw that Sister _____, as yet, has no right to marry another man; but if she, or any other woman, should obtain a divorce legally on the ground that her husband was guilty of adultery, then she is free to be married to whom she chooses.”{Adventist Home page 344}